for the purposes of the internet you can call me Craw!! i use he/him pronouns and i'm an autistic trans guy who had never done coding before trying to do neocities, so forgive me if this is a bit shabby!! i'm just here to have fun and be silly and free :3 uhh i will do all sorts of anything on here!! whatever strikes my fancy. i get anxious quite a lot so this site isn't gonna be anything serious that'd make me stressed, just my silly little website i do what i want with :)
i am (secretly) a hedgehog , , yeag
if you haven't noticed from the general seemings of this site i'm a very rambly guy, i say lots of words and use lots of brackets everywhere. in the lists below i've bolded keywords to make it sorta easier to process?but i haven't done that for the whole site
these aren't especially categorised cause every time i try to do that it starts stressing me out for some reason???i might edit this in the future though!!
And if I wanted too much / Was that such a mistake at the time? / You never wanted enough, alright tough / I don't make that a crime / And while it's going along / You take for granted some love will wear away / We took for granted a lot but still I say / It could have kept on growing / Instead of just kept on / We had a good thing going / Going / Gone
- Good Thing Going (from Merrily We Roll Along, composed by Stephen Sondheim)
It was an expensive mistake / It was an expensive mistake / My horse broke his back to get me here / I have his blood on my hands for no reason / But what was I supposed to do? / How was I supposed to know how to use a tube amp? / How was I supposed to know how to drive a van? / How was I supposed to know how to ride a bike without hurting myself? / How was I supposed to know how to make dinner for myself? / How was I supposed to know how to hold a job? / How was I supposed to remember to grab my backpack after I set it down to play basketball? / And how was I supposed to know how to not get drunk every / Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and - why not - Sunday? / (How was I supposed to know how to steer this ship?) / How was I supposed to know how to steer this ship? / How the hell was I supposed to steer this ship? / It was an expensive mistake / You can't say you're sorry and it's over / I was given a body that is falling apart / My house is falling apart / And I was given a mind that can't control itself / (And what about the pain I'm in right now?) / And I was given a ship that can't steer itself / (And what about a vacation?) / And what about a vacation to feel good? / My horse broke his back and left me here / And how was I supposed to know? / And God won't forgive me / And you won't forgive me / Not unless I open up my heart / And how am I supposed to do that / When I go to this same room every night / And sleep in the same bed every night? / The same fucking bed / With the red comforter with the white stripes / And the yellow ceiling light that makes me feel like I'm dying / This sea is too familiar / How many nights have I drowned here? / How many times have I drowned? / (How many times have I drowned?) / I give up!
- The Ballad of the Costa Concordia (Teens of Denial- Car Seat Headrest)
Well, it seems to me what we want and we need are the same / And that's someone who'll worry about us / 'Til death do us part, please keep breaking my heart / 'Til it ceases to beat, please be mine / Well it seems that that's what it means
- When Somebody Needs you (Camp Here & There soundtrack - Will Wood)
And I don't think you were that bad / There were days when I saw the life / that I could have had / I could have been loved / Spent days in the sun / To warm up my back while I run
- Laika (Pigeon Watch)
I guess I'm scared that I'm imaginary / That I invent myself every day so other people don't have to / That who I really am is secondary to what I want everyone else to see and I'm scared that I'm crazy / But God help me, I'm twice as scared I'm sane / 'Cause then what excuse do I have for treating people like problems that need to be solved or explained? / And that's where you come in / You came along, you taught me that people cannot be explained / That we are all ghost stories at the end of the day / And maybe we should just aim to stay that way / Maybe there's a reason why we do the wonderful-horrible things we do to each other, but the reasons are too simple to be satisfying / And then we're left forgetting and re-mystifying each other / 'Cause we don't really wanna understand what makes us hurt each other / No we don't really wanna understand what makes us hurt each other / No we don't really wanna understand what makes us- / Fuck, sorry
- Ghost Stories (Eden Disorder- The Narcissist Cookbook)
So I rake the sky, I listen hard. I trawl the megahertz. But the net isn't fine enough and I miss you- a swan sailing between two continents, a ghost immune to radar. Still, my eyes are fixed upon the place I last saw you, your signal urgent but breaking. Before you became cotton in a blizzard, a plane coming down behind enemy lines.
- I Trawl The Megahertz (Prefab Sprout) (side note this whole song + the whole album are brilliant lyrically